Kirstin Czernak, a mom of four and a dedicated blogger, radiates a Hero Mindset. A glance at her Instagram feed reveals more than just the smiles of her beautiful Tennessee family; there’s a profound story of love, resilience, and heroism.
Kirsten’s motherhood journey began when she and her husband, Tomas, adopted two-year-old Mia. Just two months later, they adopted Mia’s biological brother, baby Kai. Within a year, Kirsten became pregnant with their third child, Aria. It was during this pregnancy that she received the life-changing diagnosis: Aria would be born with Down syndrome. After experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions, the Czernak family fell in love with Down Syndrome and later adopted little Luca, a newborn with Down Syndrome.
We got to sit down with Kirstin over Zoom while baby Luca chilled on the bed next to her. We talked about presence, curiosity and how coming to terms with reality helps you see the little child you’re nurturing for who they are, and any dreams you may have projected on them slips away and there they are just as they are, and you wouldn’t wish anything differently.
Embracing Our Own Inner Hero: Interview with Kirstin Czernek
From a very young age, we are shaped by the expectations, dreams and narratives of the society we’re raised in. Conflicts often arise simply because different groups have different visions for their lives. Inner conflict is like this too. We envision life one way and then reality hits us with a completely different image, tone, scenery – as if we’re in the wrong movie.
We can kick and scream in protest about life’s unfairness and throw popcorn at whoever happens to be in the room, or we can make friends with the current circumstance. We have the innate ability to evoke our own inner hero and allow it to lead us down the path of curiosity, coupled with being present with whatever feelings show up.
Such is the case with Kirstin Czernek, a content creator and mother of four children, who we had the opportunity to chat with over Zoom.
Kirstin’s Story
Kirstin’s life drastically changed when at 28, she found out she was pregnant. She was already the mother of two adopted children, and owned a fitness studio, but now motherhood was giving her a new gift. As she felt the life growing inside her, her dreams grew as well. At 13 weeks, she found out that she was carrying a girl and visions of who this child would be flashed before her. Then, at 20 weeks, she was unexpectedly given a Down syndrome diagnosis.
As is expected, this news hit Kirstin pretty hard. We live in a society that strives for perfection and independence, so when we’re told a child is going to require extra attention and care, emotions can take quite a tumble. Also, because Down syndrome children can often be hidden away – out of sight, out of mind – we’re unfamiliar with a whole segment of the population, so a lot of fear of the unknown is involved.
Kirstin was lucky though; she was slightly more aware than most. She had been exposed to the special needs community for most of her life. Her mom worked with children with cerebral palsy and physical disabilities, and ran a hippotherapy summer camp that Kirstin was involved with as a teen. But now, Kirstin was faced with the reality of a diagnosis involving her own child. Also, she soon realized that while she knew people from the special needs community, none of them had Down syndrome, so this was completely new territory.
Facing the Unknown
To fill in the gap, the first thing Kirstin did was educate herself. She evoked her natural curiosity and began to go down every rabbit hole she could find to learn more about what raising a child with Down syndrome would be like. The more she learned, the more empowered she felt, as she told us, “The fear of all the unknowns and scary things weren't as scary, and I began to know and understand more.”
Something else began to shift for her and she realized she needed to take the time to feel all the emotions bubbling up inside her, especially grief, before the baby was born. At first, she felt guilty for even having such feelings, did it mean she loved her child less? But the more she felt and experienced her truth, the more she realized, “You can hold both.” You can feel grief for what you believed existed, while preparing yourself for something new that could actually be wonderful.
By the time the baby, Aria, was born – Kirstin felt at peace, excited and completely in love with her daughter, realizing Aria was always meant to be who she is and always meant to be hers. Something else very special came out of this experience, as well. A few years later, when Kirstin and her husband, Tomas, decided to adopt their fourth child, they specifically sought out another child with Down syndrome. There’s another story attached to that, but for now, we’ll just say, welcome Luca.
Giving Back to the Community
Thanks to her own journey, Kirstin now puts herself out there on social media as a content creator, helping other moms who receive a similar diagnosis and are struggling with how to handle it. She provides an excellent recourse by sharing pictures of her beautiful family with snippets of her story. She also responds to DM’s and interacts personally, helping as best as she can. She encourages people to ask questions and face their fears of the unknown because she’s the first to admit that she herself, once didn’t know.
She’s so grateful where she is now, and shares that having a child with Down syndrome is “like being gifted a castle.” Sometimes things break and it’s more expensive to fix, “But you also appreciate it that much more because you know everything that goes into the upkeep.” Of course, it isn’t always easy and there are moments of loneliness, frustration, and uncertainty but, “Hard doesn’t equal bad.” We often assign meaning to things, but when we actually work hard for it and give it everything we got, we tend to appreciate it so much more and perceptions of life shift.
Kindness is Curiosity
According to Kirstin, “Kindness is curiosity.” Not only does she help struggling parents, but also by featuring her family on social media, she is bringing more awareness of Down syndrome into the public eye. Her Instagram page is so beautifully curated that if you didn’t have previous scripts in your head, you wouldn’t even notice any differences. Scrolling through her feed you’ll spot an adorable blonde girl sharing a moment with a friend, the introduction of four siblings hugging each other, Kirstin braiding the blonde child’s hair who is enjoying a red lollipop as Kirstin tells us the story of her birth. By sharing, Kirstin is turning stereotypes on their head and evoking curiosity in the best sort of way.
So many times, we see people who are different from us and rather than engage we turn away, usually out of fear or discomfort. But if we actually face the person who makes us want to look away and engage our curiosity, magic can happen. You get to learn about another person and their world and give them the opportunity to share. You get to change the script and hopefully raise kinder and more inclusive children who don’t feel the need to be someone else, but readily embrace who they are, all the time, because they know that within each of us – is our own inner hero.
